Senior Services has been a tricky business for me. While I really love working in the industry, I ended up in the sales end of the business. I really miss the role I had as an admissions director back when admissions was still a mix of social services and business. Now, admissions is the bottom line money and sales is about getting people in the door and in the bed. AAAHHHH, the good ole' days!!!
The "Sandwich Generation" is really having a difficult time with all their responsibilities. Taking care of mom and dad, the kids, sometimes auntie or uncle who never married. Many of these folks have a child with a disability that adds to the mix causing additional stress for the family. While most "scholars" have labeled this the the "Sandwich Generation", I call them the Oreo Cookies. Why? Because, they have to be hard on all sides but in the middle they are the sweet cream that we all love!
If someone was not caring, there is no way they could take care of an aunt that can't remember not to unplug the life alert, or forget to turn off the stove or dad who calls every 10 minutes because he can't remember what he wanted or mom who thinks Johnny stole her money or Uncle who thinks you are Sally who is the sweetest niece in the world because she always is there for him even though she lives 10 hours away. These people who care visit the nursing homes on a daily, weekly and monthly basis mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles and even just friends that they feel they need to care for. Some of them do this with no concern for their own health. Some of them do this with no complaints and no rewards. Most of them are very hardened to the life they have chosen but soft and squishy on the inside, the white sweet stuff.
Think about all the people you know in life, all the people that have taken care of someone else. Have they ever asked for anything for themselves? I teach a class for parents of children with mental illnesses and one of the first things we tell them is to make sure they are fine. We use the analogy of the flight attendant and the oxygen mask. When the mask comes down, who gets it first? The strongest person! That is because if the strongest person fails, no one will survive. The flight attendant always say "put your mask on first before you put it on your child." The lesson is we need to take care of ourselves to be strong for others.
This month is National Social Workers Month. I think the biggest Oreo Cookies in the world are Social Workers. They know when to be hard but I have seen them be very hard and when the client leaves, cry like a baby at how hard that was. So I ask everyone who reads this to please thank anyone you know who is a social worker. They deserve it!!
This little article was written by one of the biggest Oreo Cookies of all. I really miss client contact and at the age of 50 am actually considering going back to school to get my Masters in Social Work. I definitely could use some encouragement as I am not sure I am making the right move. So anyone who wants to clap for me please do so. In the meantime, just remember if you are an Oreo Cookie, stay strong but put on your oxygen mask first. Only the strong survive to help the weak!
Go forth and conquer the world!!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Back in the Swing
Well, it has been a bit since I last posted but there were reasons. I won't bore you with the details but suffice it to say that it was all personal and very overwhelming at best. I am now at a spot where I have decided that I must make time to do the things that I enjoy and need to make life bearable so I can live in a productive manner.
Having said that, finding balance is not always easy. I work in a field that is very demanding. Part of that has to do with the type of work I do. I work with the elderly as a marketing professional. I used to be the admissions side of that equation, now I am the outside marketing part of the equation. We are always on, there is no off switch so when you get home you are tired.
One thing that has happened over the years is that my current job has taken me out of town. I used to work in the town where I lived. I loved working in my town. I knew everyone. I enjoyed helping those that needed help, I enjoyed finding the right "fit" and knowing that everyone was where they needed to be either mentally or physically. I'd run into the family members in the store. They would tell me what was happening with their family member. I would see them at the hospital when I was there so it was easy to get them to commit to coming to my building.
Now, I work 30 miles away from where I live. However, I work close to where I grew up so part of what I do is market in the town I grew up in.
There are pluses and minuses to this new way. I have really started a new chapter of my life, new friends, new colleagues, new area and new type of business. I now work for an assisted living instead of skilled nursing care. I am running into friends from high school who are now looking to care for their parents (there are times that becomes a minus because it also reminds me that I am no longer 23 anymore). I have made some of the best connections in the past six months that I could ever make. I have found some incredible people.
So you ask, what are the minuses? I am 30 miles from my home on Interstate 84 where the traffic is very heavy and my commute can be 1 hour each way. I miss being close to home so if I want to see these people after work it is not a major undertaking. As I indicated above, I am not getting younger and my nighttime driving is not so great anymore so I enjoy staying close to home if possible.
I will say this, other than working at Park Manor in Waterbury, and Haven Healthcare, this is probably my favorite place to work. I have only been here for six months so I am convinced that they become up on the top of the heap. (By the way, I met a Park Manor person at a function in Brookfield.) So I will keep you posted and write more of my other more exciting stuff soon.
Having said that, finding balance is not always easy. I work in a field that is very demanding. Part of that has to do with the type of work I do. I work with the elderly as a marketing professional. I used to be the admissions side of that equation, now I am the outside marketing part of the equation. We are always on, there is no off switch so when you get home you are tired.
One thing that has happened over the years is that my current job has taken me out of town. I used to work in the town where I lived. I loved working in my town. I knew everyone. I enjoyed helping those that needed help, I enjoyed finding the right "fit" and knowing that everyone was where they needed to be either mentally or physically. I'd run into the family members in the store. They would tell me what was happening with their family member. I would see them at the hospital when I was there so it was easy to get them to commit to coming to my building.
Now, I work 30 miles away from where I live. However, I work close to where I grew up so part of what I do is market in the town I grew up in.
There are pluses and minuses to this new way. I have really started a new chapter of my life, new friends, new colleagues, new area and new type of business. I now work for an assisted living instead of skilled nursing care. I am running into friends from high school who are now looking to care for their parents (there are times that becomes a minus because it also reminds me that I am no longer 23 anymore). I have made some of the best connections in the past six months that I could ever make. I have found some incredible people.
So you ask, what are the minuses? I am 30 miles from my home on Interstate 84 where the traffic is very heavy and my commute can be 1 hour each way. I miss being close to home so if I want to see these people after work it is not a major undertaking. As I indicated above, I am not getting younger and my nighttime driving is not so great anymore so I enjoy staying close to home if possible.
I will say this, other than working at Park Manor in Waterbury, and Haven Healthcare, this is probably my favorite place to work. I have only been here for six months so I am convinced that they become up on the top of the heap. (By the way, I met a Park Manor person at a function in Brookfield.) So I will keep you posted and write more of my other more exciting stuff soon.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Government & Social Issues and Facebook sparring
I have been having a philosophical conversation on Facebook with a couple of people regarding government funded programs over the past couple of days. I have been relatively quiet about my opinions regarding the state of the economy because quite honestly I am not an expert at all in these matters. That being said, I do think there are some common sense issues that people need to look at regarding social service issues and how they affect everyone.
I have worked in elderly services for the past 20 years. I have seen skilled nursing facilities go from taking care of little old ladies on walkers of 80 years old in fairly decent health to chronic care almost acute care facilities. I watched the assisted living industry that thought they would get the 70 to 80 year old population who were fit and pretty independent but would need minor assistance become almost nursing home level care. Home care is becoming the norm and at times (in my view) unsafe.
People in this country complain constantly about welfare, government handouts, government being in our business, and wanting smaller government. I always found that amusing when I sign residents in at a nursing home because whenever I ask about mom or dad's finances the answer I get from their children is "My parents worked hard for their money and want to pass it on to me, isn't this paid for by Medicare, Medicaid or some other government program?" Let's keep government out but let them pay. We don't want to pay taxes but we want government to pay our way.
I just want to remind everyone who government is. The government is US. The Tea Party has done a great job of rallying everyone and convincing them that government is too big. The way I see it (and again, I am not an expert) is the Tea Party wants to cut everything to the bone and have government out of everyone's life as it was when this country began. Quite honestly, I don't think that would work. This is a very different world than it was in 1776 or even 1900 for that matter.
I understand that we have serious financial problems in this country but to fix them on the backs of the poor or the middle Americans is ridiculous. We pay the least amount of tax we ever have. President Bush took us into two wars while lowering our taxes. Again, I am no expert but how can you increase spending while decreasing revenue? That seems like simple finance to me. Social Security is in peril and we are constantly being told the program is going broke. But this year we lowered the amount we take out of peoples pay. How can that be done? It seems to me focusing on social programs is not the place to start. The place to start is on how we collect revenue.
My husband and I make a good amount of money. We have never qualified for financial aid to send our children to school. We work hard, we paid his ex-wife child support until his son turned 18, we provided for our children and paid our taxes. I lost my job in 2009 and we struggled to stay above water. However, we were still above a point where we could qualify for any aid. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. The point I am making is the people getting squeezed are the middle Americans making $60,000 to $300,000 per year. Those who make less generally don't have to pay as much in taxes and usually will qualify for financial aid for their kids or for assistance services. Those who make more have more places to put their money so they don't have to pay so much for taxes. It is worrisome when someone like Warren Buffet says he pays less taxes than his secretary.
Back to my social service issue...the banter on Facebook had to do with the abuse of the "welfare" system. Here is my take on that. I agree that there are people that take advantage of the system. There are providers that take advantage of Medicare. We spend more money on finding and prosecuting the Medicare fraud than the actual amount that is fraud. I am betting that would be the case here.
The problem with cutting all social programs is that by doing so we risk throwing our country into a mess of homelessness, violence and illness. For the past 15 years or so we have had relatively good times. Crime has been down, homelessness has been better (not eradicated but better), teen pregnancies are down, mental illness is being treated, there are treatment centers for drug and alcohol and people have had relative prosperity. Then all of a sudden we had the banking crisis where everything began to fall apart. Now there is uncertainty, people don't know if they will have jobs, no one is buying goods and services, things that should be done are being put off as long as possible. When those programs are cut, there will be no net for those people to fall into. During the good times we had the nets and all was well.
Teen pregnancy has been a huge problem in our city. There is a youth center that has government funding that provides programs for youth. Working with the youth in the city and by educating teens about the difficulties of children in their teens, there has been a decrease in teen pregnancy thus a decrease in use of the system.
People who have addictive personalities and get addicted to drugs have an illness. I think society forgets that addiction is an illness because we too often throw it around frivolously when superstars get in trouble. These people are generally looking for a way out from something. With the proper treatment they too can lead normal, productive lives. Not treated they will be on the streets, looking for their next hit and possibly robbing you because they need money. They will also be feeding the already too large drug trade which we know too well is violent.
Let's not forget the poor Americans. My step-son is just starting out. He started out in a trade which means he has to be an apprentice for several years. He makes $12/hour. I am sure that by the time he pays insurance, taxes, and some 401K savings he has very little left. He is lucky because his dad and I bought him a car and his mom lets him live in her home. He pays her minimal rent and pays his car insurance. His disposable income is very small at the end of the month. That is fine except he certainly is not stimulating the economy. He could not even think about marriage because he cannot afford it.
One of the most successful programs that I know of in Waterbury is the PAL program that works with inner city kids. I do not know if they get any government aid but I would assume that they apply for grants and I would assume they get some money from DCF for some of their programs. This program has helped many kids get on a positive road to success out of terrible situations.
Just a reminder, who does everyone thinks pays for the policeman that keep us safe, the fireman who fight the fires (excluding volunteers but even the trucks need to be paid for), garbage pick up in the cities, roads being fixed or plowed, bridges fixed and other infra-structure that needs attention. People in my city complain constantly about their taxes but the first snowstorm when their road is not plowed in the first hour of the storm and they are calling for someones resignation. All our taxes pay for those services. People forget that goods and services are not free even if provided by the government.
My point is that those of us who sit in an Ivory Tower making a decent living should not be judging others less fortunate than ourselves. Because even if we lived for a short time in a crappy neighborhood (I have and the person that I was sparring with did) we were raised in a very different world and the opportunities available to us were very different.
For the record I volunteer with NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Waterbury and the Salvation Army in Waterbury. I have worked with nursing homes that catered to mental health patients, I have family members with mental health issues and with serious health issues. I understand how privileged I have been to have the means to take care of my family. I want others to be able to care for their loved ones as well. If that means I have to pay a bit more in taxes, so be it. But I think that all Americans, especially those that make more than my husband and I, should also pay more in taxes. Why should they be exempt?
In conclusion, I again am not an expert. This is just my view of how things appear. I may not change anyones mind but I hope I can at least get you to think a little different and look at your fellow Americans; rich, poor, Black, White, Christian, Jewish or from Mars in a more favorable light.
I have worked in elderly services for the past 20 years. I have seen skilled nursing facilities go from taking care of little old ladies on walkers of 80 years old in fairly decent health to chronic care almost acute care facilities. I watched the assisted living industry that thought they would get the 70 to 80 year old population who were fit and pretty independent but would need minor assistance become almost nursing home level care. Home care is becoming the norm and at times (in my view) unsafe.
People in this country complain constantly about welfare, government handouts, government being in our business, and wanting smaller government. I always found that amusing when I sign residents in at a nursing home because whenever I ask about mom or dad's finances the answer I get from their children is "My parents worked hard for their money and want to pass it on to me, isn't this paid for by Medicare, Medicaid or some other government program?" Let's keep government out but let them pay. We don't want to pay taxes but we want government to pay our way.
I just want to remind everyone who government is. The government is US. The Tea Party has done a great job of rallying everyone and convincing them that government is too big. The way I see it (and again, I am not an expert) is the Tea Party wants to cut everything to the bone and have government out of everyone's life as it was when this country began. Quite honestly, I don't think that would work. This is a very different world than it was in 1776 or even 1900 for that matter.
I understand that we have serious financial problems in this country but to fix them on the backs of the poor or the middle Americans is ridiculous. We pay the least amount of tax we ever have. President Bush took us into two wars while lowering our taxes. Again, I am no expert but how can you increase spending while decreasing revenue? That seems like simple finance to me. Social Security is in peril and we are constantly being told the program is going broke. But this year we lowered the amount we take out of peoples pay. How can that be done? It seems to me focusing on social programs is not the place to start. The place to start is on how we collect revenue.
My husband and I make a good amount of money. We have never qualified for financial aid to send our children to school. We work hard, we paid his ex-wife child support until his son turned 18, we provided for our children and paid our taxes. I lost my job in 2009 and we struggled to stay above water. However, we were still above a point where we could qualify for any aid. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. The point I am making is the people getting squeezed are the middle Americans making $60,000 to $300,000 per year. Those who make less generally don't have to pay as much in taxes and usually will qualify for financial aid for their kids or for assistance services. Those who make more have more places to put their money so they don't have to pay so much for taxes. It is worrisome when someone like Warren Buffet says he pays less taxes than his secretary.
Back to my social service issue...the banter on Facebook had to do with the abuse of the "welfare" system. Here is my take on that. I agree that there are people that take advantage of the system. There are providers that take advantage of Medicare. We spend more money on finding and prosecuting the Medicare fraud than the actual amount that is fraud. I am betting that would be the case here.
The problem with cutting all social programs is that by doing so we risk throwing our country into a mess of homelessness, violence and illness. For the past 15 years or so we have had relatively good times. Crime has been down, homelessness has been better (not eradicated but better), teen pregnancies are down, mental illness is being treated, there are treatment centers for drug and alcohol and people have had relative prosperity. Then all of a sudden we had the banking crisis where everything began to fall apart. Now there is uncertainty, people don't know if they will have jobs, no one is buying goods and services, things that should be done are being put off as long as possible. When those programs are cut, there will be no net for those people to fall into. During the good times we had the nets and all was well.
Teen pregnancy has been a huge problem in our city. There is a youth center that has government funding that provides programs for youth. Working with the youth in the city and by educating teens about the difficulties of children in their teens, there has been a decrease in teen pregnancy thus a decrease in use of the system.
People who have addictive personalities and get addicted to drugs have an illness. I think society forgets that addiction is an illness because we too often throw it around frivolously when superstars get in trouble. These people are generally looking for a way out from something. With the proper treatment they too can lead normal, productive lives. Not treated they will be on the streets, looking for their next hit and possibly robbing you because they need money. They will also be feeding the already too large drug trade which we know too well is violent.
Let's not forget the poor Americans. My step-son is just starting out. He started out in a trade which means he has to be an apprentice for several years. He makes $12/hour. I am sure that by the time he pays insurance, taxes, and some 401K savings he has very little left. He is lucky because his dad and I bought him a car and his mom lets him live in her home. He pays her minimal rent and pays his car insurance. His disposable income is very small at the end of the month. That is fine except he certainly is not stimulating the economy. He could not even think about marriage because he cannot afford it.
One of the most successful programs that I know of in Waterbury is the PAL program that works with inner city kids. I do not know if they get any government aid but I would assume that they apply for grants and I would assume they get some money from DCF for some of their programs. This program has helped many kids get on a positive road to success out of terrible situations.
Just a reminder, who does everyone thinks pays for the policeman that keep us safe, the fireman who fight the fires (excluding volunteers but even the trucks need to be paid for), garbage pick up in the cities, roads being fixed or plowed, bridges fixed and other infra-structure that needs attention. People in my city complain constantly about their taxes but the first snowstorm when their road is not plowed in the first hour of the storm and they are calling for someones resignation. All our taxes pay for those services. People forget that goods and services are not free even if provided by the government.
My point is that those of us who sit in an Ivory Tower making a decent living should not be judging others less fortunate than ourselves. Because even if we lived for a short time in a crappy neighborhood (I have and the person that I was sparring with did) we were raised in a very different world and the opportunities available to us were very different.
For the record I volunteer with NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Waterbury and the Salvation Army in Waterbury. I have worked with nursing homes that catered to mental health patients, I have family members with mental health issues and with serious health issues. I understand how privileged I have been to have the means to take care of my family. I want others to be able to care for their loved ones as well. If that means I have to pay a bit more in taxes, so be it. But I think that all Americans, especially those that make more than my husband and I, should also pay more in taxes. Why should they be exempt?
In conclusion, I again am not an expert. This is just my view of how things appear. I may not change anyones mind but I hope I can at least get you to think a little different and look at your fellow Americans; rich, poor, Black, White, Christian, Jewish or from Mars in a more favorable light.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Addiction and Amy Winehouse
It truly is a shame when someone so talented loses their battle with an addiction and disappears from this earth forever. Amy Winehouse had a voice that was sultry, breathy, and luring. At 27 years old she had a future that could have been bright and full of promise. Unfortunately, her addiction got the best of her only to take her away too young.
I do not know if Amy Winehouse suffered from a mental illness or not but my suspicions lean heavily that way. The demons that ruled her 27 years suggest that she truly had something troubling her which led her to drugs and alcohol to find solace. This is just a reminder that many very talented individuals suffer from tremendous turmoil that eventually can destroy them. They do not always seek help, as many believe they do not need help. Many of those today who could possibly be in her situation still believe they do not need help. Although this is sad, it is their choice. We need to not enable them but not abandon them which is a fine line and a hard call.
I did not listen to Amy Winehouse but after she died heard her music on television over and over. I came to realize the loss that the music world has endured. I know that anyone who reads this blog and has children talks to them about drugs. My real hope is that if you are reading this blog you call NAMI or some other mental health organization to request they come to your school to speak about mental illness. Children need to recognize what it is before they discover drugs and alcohol. We need to stop stigma of the disease because that drives us further into denial. In my opinion, the younger we introduce children to this issue, the sooner we destroy the myth. We start speaking about drugs when they are in elementary school, we begin speaking about bigotry as soon as pre-school, why on earth would we wait to talk about mental illness. I implore you to educate your children before they become a statistic like Amy Winehouse.
I do not know if Amy Winehouse suffered from a mental illness or not but my suspicions lean heavily that way. The demons that ruled her 27 years suggest that she truly had something troubling her which led her to drugs and alcohol to find solace. This is just a reminder that many very talented individuals suffer from tremendous turmoil that eventually can destroy them. They do not always seek help, as many believe they do not need help. Many of those today who could possibly be in her situation still believe they do not need help. Although this is sad, it is their choice. We need to not enable them but not abandon them which is a fine line and a hard call.
I did not listen to Amy Winehouse but after she died heard her music on television over and over. I came to realize the loss that the music world has endured. I know that anyone who reads this blog and has children talks to them about drugs. My real hope is that if you are reading this blog you call NAMI or some other mental health organization to request they come to your school to speak about mental illness. Children need to recognize what it is before they discover drugs and alcohol. We need to stop stigma of the disease because that drives us further into denial. In my opinion, the younger we introduce children to this issue, the sooner we destroy the myth. We start speaking about drugs when they are in elementary school, we begin speaking about bigotry as soon as pre-school, why on earth would we wait to talk about mental illness. I implore you to educate your children before they become a statistic like Amy Winehouse.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Jake Lisakolsky - Man of Few Words, Talented Artist
(R to L Kim Pernerewski, President NAMI Waterbury, Roseanne Chrzanowski, Department Head Art Dept. Naugatuck High School, Jake Lisakolsky, John Henebry, Treasurer NAMI Waterbury)
Jake Lisakolsky sits in the art room at Naugatuck High School with his head down quietly doing his work while other students are bustling around him talking, visiting and generally being teenagers. Jake appears un-phased by what is going on in his surroundings until someone says “They’re here!” He looks up, then goes right back to his work.
Why would Jake care that they are here? Because Jake participated in the 1st annual NAMI Waterbury T-Shirt Design contest. This made Jake the first $200 winner of the NAMI Waterbury T-Shirt Design Contest. His design has been chosen to be the official T-shirt for the annual NAMIWalks 2011 held at Bushnell Park on May 21st. The contest was offered to several high schools in the greater Waterbury area. Jake’s design, a healthy pink brain with the City of Waterbury proudly perched on top of it, welcomes visitors. At the top of the design the word NAMI is written in bold orange letters with 2011 embedded in the I. Jake’s artistic talent is boldly illustrated in his drawing.
Jake is a sophomore at Naugatuck High School who most often will be found in the art room when he is not engaged in other studies. Jake is not only a dedicated artist, he also runs track for the Greyhounds. He has a very easy going manner about him which clearly keeps him focused.
Roseanne Chrzanowski, Jake’s Art Teacher at Naugatuck High said that Jake is a very talented artist. She said that if she asks for 1 project from him she will get 6.
Jake’s drawing can be seen on the T-Shirts that will be worn by the Minds of Waterbury Team at the NAMIWalks 2011 in Bushnell Park on May 21, 2011 starting at 9AM. Money raised by the team helps NAMI Waterbury provide support, education and advocacy for family, friends and those individuals who suffer with mental illness. Anyone interested in walking with the team or donating to the team may do so by going to http://www.nami.org/namiwalks11/CTC/mindsofwaterbury or calling 203-758-5844. Everyone who signs up will receive a T-Shirt designed by Jake. Please join us!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Sadness for Tucson
I write this with a very heavy heart as Tucson is one of my favorite places in the whole world. I spent my college years there at the University of Arizona and as I tell most of my friends, "Once a Wildcat, Always a Wildcat". I lived very close to where this tragedy happened which made me realize that it can happen to any of us. This tragedy touches me in several ways. My husband is a politician, my son has a diagnosed mental illness, it happened at a place I am very familier with and I have friends who were near the action.
We often wonder what could cause someone to do something so horrific but the real question is why were we unable to stop it from happening in the first place. I ask that question because I so many times see families screaming for help only to be told "they are not a danger", "they are in full control", "they are dealing in reality" and many other things that are frustrating when trying to get help. In most cases, who knows these people best, the mental health professional who sees them for a five minute medication management or a 45 minute therapy session or the families who live with them 24 hours a day for most of their lifes.
In this particular case, Pima Community College had raised red flags about this student. Everyone keeps saying they should have reported him. I pose the question that if they did what would have been done. He had not hurt anyone, he had not threatened anyone, he had not done anything to anyone. So what would have been the reason to have him "locked up".
I have heard the news media say that the college notified the parents. Well what should the parents have done. Once a child reaches 18 years of age a parent is no longer privy to their medical records. In the case of psychiatric records, that can reach to the age of 15 in some states. This man was 22 years of age. So even if the parents were aware, what could they have done.
I can propose a scenario that I have heard over and over again. I want to make clear that I am not advocating that we lock people up and throw away the key. I do think, as with any illness, there is a responsibility to the person with the illness that society look out for their well being and the well being of those around them.
Scenario: John Smith has had many problems over the years growing up and never quite fit in. He has always been a bit of a recluse but never got into any trouble. He spends a lot of time playing video games, watches some tv and is an avid reader. He is very engrossed in politics and the unfairness of how certain things are put forth in this world. He will speak about this to few people because he does not trust anyone. He lives with his parents who are very concerned about him because he never socializes with anyone. He cannot keep a steady job and as time goes on seems to be coming more and more delusional about the state of the world. His parents have expressed concern to the authorities who have asked if anything has happened at home to which they reply no. One day, John gets very angry at his parents and starts throwing things, yelling and carrying on. His parents call 911 and he is taken to a local hospital. He is assessed and sent home saying he is no longer a danger to himself or others and competent to make his own decisions. He is now mad at his parents for making him go to the hospital. He becomes increasingly paranoid. Over time, his behavior becomes more and more irratic but not enough to call 911 but continues to be bizarre. Occassionally, John can be seen talking to himself as he walks places or driving down the street.
What would you do? Is this man a walking time bomb? Would you lock him up? Is he going to kill a member of congress or another person? Most likely not. However, clearly he needs help. But how do you make him get help. If he is unwilling to go and he is determined to be competent and able to make his own decisions how do you do this?
The incident in Arizona should be a wake up call to the nation that our mental health system is broken. We ignore the problems hoping they will go away . We treat people with mental illness like they are animals that should be locked up forever instead of people with an illness that need treatment. The funding is miniscule at best in most places. States that closed mental health hospitals and promised to put those dollars into community programs did not. Mental Illness is a treatable disease that with education, support and advocacy can help convince those who have it to seek treatment and help those families affected find resources to find help.
Seeking treatment is what we want people to do. But when we as a society put a label of shame on mental health issues those who may have looked for help will not. They feel they can conquer this problem. They cannot. It is a brain disorder and it can be devastating. We must find a way to help people when we see a problem. When someone like this man in Tucson is showing severe signs of mental illness don't throw it in the laps of the family. It is everyones responsiblilty to make sure that help is there. Help them understand the severity of the disease. Help them understand that it is not anyones fault. Help them get through the crisis. Refer them to NAMI so additional information is available. Knowledge is power Do I know this would have prevented this or that it did not happen? No, but perhaps it could have helped.
What this young man did was wrong. There is no doubt about that. My concern is as a society we must make sure we watch for the signs of trouble, we help the person heading for trouble, we help that person's family, and we make sure that this type of tragedy never happens again. Do I have all the answers, No. But I think we should open the dialogue to begin talking. Since Columbine we have seen too many killings that could have been prevented.
My thoughts and prayers go out to Congresswoman Gifford and her family, Christina Green and her family, Judge Roll and his family and all the others affected by this horrible crime. I know Tucson will be able to heal through prayer and community. The desert southwest is a strong and beautiful place that reminds you how beauty and ruggedness work together. God Bless Tucson.
We often wonder what could cause someone to do something so horrific but the real question is why were we unable to stop it from happening in the first place. I ask that question because I so many times see families screaming for help only to be told "they are not a danger", "they are in full control", "they are dealing in reality" and many other things that are frustrating when trying to get help. In most cases, who knows these people best, the mental health professional who sees them for a five minute medication management or a 45 minute therapy session or the families who live with them 24 hours a day for most of their lifes.
In this particular case, Pima Community College had raised red flags about this student. Everyone keeps saying they should have reported him. I pose the question that if they did what would have been done. He had not hurt anyone, he had not threatened anyone, he had not done anything to anyone. So what would have been the reason to have him "locked up".
I have heard the news media say that the college notified the parents. Well what should the parents have done. Once a child reaches 18 years of age a parent is no longer privy to their medical records. In the case of psychiatric records, that can reach to the age of 15 in some states. This man was 22 years of age. So even if the parents were aware, what could they have done.
I can propose a scenario that I have heard over and over again. I want to make clear that I am not advocating that we lock people up and throw away the key. I do think, as with any illness, there is a responsibility to the person with the illness that society look out for their well being and the well being of those around them.
Scenario: John Smith has had many problems over the years growing up and never quite fit in. He has always been a bit of a recluse but never got into any trouble. He spends a lot of time playing video games, watches some tv and is an avid reader. He is very engrossed in politics and the unfairness of how certain things are put forth in this world. He will speak about this to few people because he does not trust anyone. He lives with his parents who are very concerned about him because he never socializes with anyone. He cannot keep a steady job and as time goes on seems to be coming more and more delusional about the state of the world. His parents have expressed concern to the authorities who have asked if anything has happened at home to which they reply no. One day, John gets very angry at his parents and starts throwing things, yelling and carrying on. His parents call 911 and he is taken to a local hospital. He is assessed and sent home saying he is no longer a danger to himself or others and competent to make his own decisions. He is now mad at his parents for making him go to the hospital. He becomes increasingly paranoid. Over time, his behavior becomes more and more irratic but not enough to call 911 but continues to be bizarre. Occassionally, John can be seen talking to himself as he walks places or driving down the street.
What would you do? Is this man a walking time bomb? Would you lock him up? Is he going to kill a member of congress or another person? Most likely not. However, clearly he needs help. But how do you make him get help. If he is unwilling to go and he is determined to be competent and able to make his own decisions how do you do this?
The incident in Arizona should be a wake up call to the nation that our mental health system is broken. We ignore the problems hoping they will go away . We treat people with mental illness like they are animals that should be locked up forever instead of people with an illness that need treatment. The funding is miniscule at best in most places. States that closed mental health hospitals and promised to put those dollars into community programs did not. Mental Illness is a treatable disease that with education, support and advocacy can help convince those who have it to seek treatment and help those families affected find resources to find help.
Seeking treatment is what we want people to do. But when we as a society put a label of shame on mental health issues those who may have looked for help will not. They feel they can conquer this problem. They cannot. It is a brain disorder and it can be devastating. We must find a way to help people when we see a problem. When someone like this man in Tucson is showing severe signs of mental illness don't throw it in the laps of the family. It is everyones responsiblilty to make sure that help is there. Help them understand the severity of the disease. Help them understand that it is not anyones fault. Help them get through the crisis. Refer them to NAMI so additional information is available. Knowledge is power Do I know this would have prevented this or that it did not happen? No, but perhaps it could have helped.
What this young man did was wrong. There is no doubt about that. My concern is as a society we must make sure we watch for the signs of trouble, we help the person heading for trouble, we help that person's family, and we make sure that this type of tragedy never happens again. Do I have all the answers, No. But I think we should open the dialogue to begin talking. Since Columbine we have seen too many killings that could have been prevented.
My thoughts and prayers go out to Congresswoman Gifford and her family, Christina Green and her family, Judge Roll and his family and all the others affected by this horrible crime. I know Tucson will be able to heal through prayer and community. The desert southwest is a strong and beautiful place that reminds you how beauty and ruggedness work together. God Bless Tucson.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
2011 Starting out Noteworthy
I noticed that my last entry had been in October 2010. I apologize but with the new job and other things in my life my blog has taken a back seat. With the new year, comes new challenges, opportunities and much to discuss.
First, let me start with, what an eventful year this is starting out as. January 1 started with the opening of Waterbury CT's City Hall. After an extensive renovation of a building designed by Cass Gilbert, the City Hall had its dedication on January 1. All the local politicians were there in their glory. Cass Gilbert's granddaughter was there and spoke about how proud she was of the renovation work that was done. About 500 people showed up to see what had been done with their tax dollars to the building. Sad in a way that only 500 cared to come down to the festivities considering the City of Waterbury has over 100,000 people. Anyway, we were able to tour the building which was magnificent. Breathtaking is probably a better word. It was brought back to the glory it was in the early 1900's when it was built with original colors as well as clean white marble and shiny brass. This is truly something for the City of Waterbury to be proud of. Truly something for my husband on the Board of Alderman who worked very hard to get done to be proud of. Congratulations Paul!
On January 5th, I had the honor to attend the Governor's Inaugural Ball. It was a ball (ha, ha!). It was fun to see all the dresses, men in tuxes, and the various politicians out doing their thing.
On January 7th in New England we had a snowstorm that was predicted to dump 1 foot of snow in areas around Connecticut where I live. It was predicted to start in the afternoon. The forecasters said once it started it would get heavy fast. They were correct. Streets were shut down, I-84 came to a stand still, people were stranded, people abandoned their cars on the highway, and overall it was a mess. We simply did not heed the warnings. We laughed because school was cancelled but when I look back about the time that the first flake came down, the youngest group would have been getting out of school. In my city, we have large hills with narrow streets. This means that buses have to negotiate cars and other items to get around. Imagine doing that in the snow with a bus full of 5 to 10 year olds that are not your kids. I think it was a smart move.
Now, move to January 8th. I get a bizarre message from my son "Daddy was close but he is fine". I was very confused so asked what he was talking about. Before he answered I got my answer from the Washington Post. Congresswoman Gifford was shot by someone in Tucson. My son text me that it was at Oracle and Ina close to where my ex-husband lives and some very close friends of mine live. Immediately, I made a phone call to Tucson to make sure they had not been to Safeway as I know they go there from time to time. Thank God for my friends, this was not one of those days. Unfortunately for many, they were not so lucky. My prayers and thoughts are with them and their families.
After receiving this awful news, we were on our way to a Gala at the newly renovated City Hall. This was to raise money to continue to keep up the gardens and other aspects of City Hall. This City Hall is probably one of the most beautiful in the country, if not the most beautiful. The Gala was lovely and my hats off to Cathy Smith and her team for a lovely evening. It was like having cocktails in a palace.
Now move to January 12th. Another big snowstorm has moved up the east coast and paralyzed the State of Connecticut once again. This time Governor Malloy has requested all non-essential personnel stay at home. State employees now have a day off. The City of Waterbury has closed down. The City of Danbury had declared a level 3 emergency which means if you are not essential personnel you will be arrested if you are on the street. That is in effect until noon. I would definitely be considered non-essential personnel. I cannot imagine what an MBA can do to save the world!
So in 12 days, there have been snowstorms, balls, galas, openings, shootings and only God knows what else. I can only imagine what the rest of the year holds. I am exhausted already and the year has just begun. I hope I can catch my breath this weekend before another round starts.
Happy 2011 folks!!!
First, let me start with, what an eventful year this is starting out as. January 1 started with the opening of Waterbury CT's City Hall. After an extensive renovation of a building designed by Cass Gilbert, the City Hall had its dedication on January 1. All the local politicians were there in their glory. Cass Gilbert's granddaughter was there and spoke about how proud she was of the renovation work that was done. About 500 people showed up to see what had been done with their tax dollars to the building. Sad in a way that only 500 cared to come down to the festivities considering the City of Waterbury has over 100,000 people. Anyway, we were able to tour the building which was magnificent. Breathtaking is probably a better word. It was brought back to the glory it was in the early 1900's when it was built with original colors as well as clean white marble and shiny brass. This is truly something for the City of Waterbury to be proud of. Truly something for my husband on the Board of Alderman who worked very hard to get done to be proud of. Congratulations Paul!
On January 5th, I had the honor to attend the Governor's Inaugural Ball. It was a ball (ha, ha!). It was fun to see all the dresses, men in tuxes, and the various politicians out doing their thing.
On January 7th in New England we had a snowstorm that was predicted to dump 1 foot of snow in areas around Connecticut where I live. It was predicted to start in the afternoon. The forecasters said once it started it would get heavy fast. They were correct. Streets were shut down, I-84 came to a stand still, people were stranded, people abandoned their cars on the highway, and overall it was a mess. We simply did not heed the warnings. We laughed because school was cancelled but when I look back about the time that the first flake came down, the youngest group would have been getting out of school. In my city, we have large hills with narrow streets. This means that buses have to negotiate cars and other items to get around. Imagine doing that in the snow with a bus full of 5 to 10 year olds that are not your kids. I think it was a smart move.
Now, move to January 8th. I get a bizarre message from my son "Daddy was close but he is fine". I was very confused so asked what he was talking about. Before he answered I got my answer from the Washington Post. Congresswoman Gifford was shot by someone in Tucson. My son text me that it was at Oracle and Ina close to where my ex-husband lives and some very close friends of mine live. Immediately, I made a phone call to Tucson to make sure they had not been to Safeway as I know they go there from time to time. Thank God for my friends, this was not one of those days. Unfortunately for many, they were not so lucky. My prayers and thoughts are with them and their families.
After receiving this awful news, we were on our way to a Gala at the newly renovated City Hall. This was to raise money to continue to keep up the gardens and other aspects of City Hall. This City Hall is probably one of the most beautiful in the country, if not the most beautiful. The Gala was lovely and my hats off to Cathy Smith and her team for a lovely evening. It was like having cocktails in a palace.
Now move to January 12th. Another big snowstorm has moved up the east coast and paralyzed the State of Connecticut once again. This time Governor Malloy has requested all non-essential personnel stay at home. State employees now have a day off. The City of Waterbury has closed down. The City of Danbury had declared a level 3 emergency which means if you are not essential personnel you will be arrested if you are on the street. That is in effect until noon. I would definitely be considered non-essential personnel. I cannot imagine what an MBA can do to save the world!
So in 12 days, there have been snowstorms, balls, galas, openings, shootings and only God knows what else. I can only imagine what the rest of the year holds. I am exhausted already and the year has just begun. I hope I can catch my breath this weekend before another round starts.
Happy 2011 folks!!!
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